Idle Idols
by PaperHat
Summary: He would never find out would he? It was a million to one chance. Was it worth the risk to have that one chance at their dreams? Rating changed for future chapters. Last chapter now up.
1. One broken TV set

**Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS**

_A/N There will be a few chapters in this one. So be prepared for a longer haul than usual._

Jethro Gibbs stretched and rotated his neck as he stepped into his basement. It had been a pretty hard week and yet the team's efforts had paid off with the case finally being wrapped up on Friday morning just in time to enjoy the weekend. The case had resulted in some pretty lengthy interrogations for Gibbs and it had drained him both physically and mentally. He was looking forward to unwinding his body and his mind with some time working on his boat, finishing of what was left in his bottle of Jack Daniels and taking in some of the sports action on his basement TV.

Lifting a large handled hammer he whacked the button on the aged TV and it slowly flickered and hissed into life.

He took another swig from his coffee mug and ran his hand over the smooth wooden beam of the boat and smiled with quiet contentment. His eyes flinched at the commotion of sound coming from his TV and he realized that he needed to find the sports channel quickly to settle into his own little nirvana. He scanned his workbench for the remote and cursed to himself when it wasn't immediately in range.

Gibbs set his coffee down and began sifting through the tools and wood cuttings scattered around the bench. The cacophony of music and hollering and cheering from the TV began to set his teeth on edge and he scowled as he frantically hunted for the remote.

The experienced and trained detective and ex-gunny registered the dialogue coming from the TV.

"Next in line to face the judges are a group of friends who all work with the military, in law enforcement, but are not actually in the military. Their senior team field agent explains"

"Hi, I'm Anthony DiNozzo, from NCIS, that's the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, we investigate crimes involving the Navy and the Marine Corps. I'm the Senior Field Agent and this is our Probie, Tim McGee, Officer Ziva David and our Forensic Scientist Abby Scuito"

Gibbs froze and stared wide eyed at the screen at the beaming faces of his four team members.

"And did your boss give you time off to attend the auditions?" the presenter asked candidly.

Gibbs inhaled deeply as Abby grinned coyly, "Uh..not exactly…we….uh…are all supposed to be on a training course this afternoon, but our boss doesn't watch TV, he only has one in his basement where he's building a boat."

"He's building a boat in his basement?"

The faces of Tim McGee and Ziva David filled the screen, "Yes in his basement, it is a favorite past-time of his," Ziva explained.

The frowning face of Tim McGee was next to fill the screen, "Uh….you will be editing this right? Just in case that there is a one in a million chance that he catches the show…..because he will kill us if he finds out you realize that…..are you going to show this on TV?"

The screen filled with the beaming fact of the presenter, "That's the fantastic four from the Naval Criminal Investigative Service right here in Washington. Tune in after the break and join me, Ryan Seacrest, to find out if either one of them have what it takes to be the next American Idol"

The hammer which found it's way through the screen had much to do with Gibbs being unable to tune in after the break.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I don't own American Idol either.**


	2. Conversations and Monday morning

_A/N Thanks to all those who have reviewed so far._

Gibbs swept up the remaining glass from his basement floor when his cell phone rang and in his anger he snapped it open,

"What!" he barked.

"It's me. Listen we need to talk, there is something you need to know about your team."

Gibbs scowled, "Is this about them on some damn TV show?"

There was an awkward period of silence.

"You saw it?" the quiet voice rasped.

"Yeah, let's just say the one in a million chance that McGee mentioned actually happened"

Jen sighed, "Oh God, are you as pissed off as I am?" she growled,

Gibbs couldn't help but smirk, "pissed off doesn't entirely describe how I'm feeling at the moment Jen"

He could tell that talking to him had calmed her down a little, "I was so God-damned angry, I trashed my TV before the commercial break"

Jen gasped, "You didn't hear them sing? Well you needn't worry about that, I'm having the network send me a tape under SecNav's authority. You can see the whole sorry mess in my office 0700 hours Monday morning. I'll be spending the rest of the weekend trying to placate and do a spin job on this with Mr Secretary"

Gibbs snapped his cell phone shut and continued to clear up the broken glass.

**Monday Morning**

Gibbs stormed into Jen's office at 0700 hours on the dot. Jen raised her hand to silence him as she continued to talk on her phone,

"Yes sir, I can assure you that it will be taken care off and yes I am extremely grateful for your approach on this. Yes sir, I can absolutely guarantee that this Agency will not be involved in anything like this ever again Mr Secretary, you have my word on that Sir."

Jen hung up the phone and rubbed her brow. Gibbs set down the coffee he had brought her and she smiled with thanks as she took it from him.

"SecNav?" he asked quietly.

Jen nodded and then took a deep breath, "He has agreed to leave this for me to deal with, quite frankly, he is trying to keep the whole thing as low key and as informal as possible in order to save himself the embarrassment of the endless justifications and explanations. He has this misguided notion that despite a global audience seeing four members of this Agency demonstrate blatant disregard for the rules that if we stick our heads in the sand it will all go away. On this occasion I am glad the spin has worked and he sees it that way. Our orders are to deal with this as quietly as possible in order to prevent it becoming a major incident and embarrassment for the Agency."

Gibbs frowned, "So we just ignore it?" he snapped angrily.

Jen folded her arms in defiance, "Ignore yes, let go unpunished, no. I'm saying Jethro that we should think ourselves damn lucky that we can keep this internal and as low key as possible. But one thing is certain and that is that it is time you pulled the reins a little tighter on your team. They crossed way over the line with this one and I think a reprimand from me as their Director will be a sharp shock they deserve!"

"No way Jen! They lied to me, not you! I'll handle this! You know how I feel about lying!"

Jen pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes and let the silence hang in the air to calm them both down a little,

"Can you guarantee that they will be physically fit enough to do their jobs if I let you...handle it?"

Gibbs raised the corner of his mouth slightly and looked Jen straight in the eye.

Jen eyed his reaction and silence with confusion and turned her head to the side and then the realization struck. She winced and swallowed hard,

"Okay Jethro, it's a deal, but first of all I get to chew them out, they need to know that I find their behavior unacceptable too and that they realize what implications their little stunt had on the reputation of this Agency."

Jethro nodded in agreement as Jen took another gulp of her coffee.

"Very well, let's get them in, let them squirm as we make them relive their finest moments on tape and then you and I can deal with them and get this whole sorry mess over and done with and hope to God that they never play hooky again."

--oooo--

Ziva David bit her bottom lip cautiously as she stepped out of the elevator and made for her desk. She breathed a sigh of relief when she noticed the bullpen was empty and after a quick scan of the room she sat down and powered up her computer.

It was only a few minutes later when Tony and Tim arrived together, "Is he here?" Tony asked quietly.

"I think he is in, but he is obviously somewhere else, his computer is on and there is an empty coffee cup in his trash can"

Tim sighed, "So...uh...did you see it on Saturday?"

Ziva gulped and failed to hide her sudden embarrassed smile, "Yes, I did manage to catch the clip. It was...very embarrassing...I regret it now"

"Well if you ask me I think Cowell was way out of line with you Zee-vah" Tony winked as he sat down at his desk.

Tim stood in the centre of the bullpen and frowned, his lip begining to pout nervously, "You don't think he saw it do you?"

"Probie! Probie! Probie!" Tony said sweetly as he placed a comforting arm around his shoulder,

"It's Monday morning, if he had seen it, do you honestly think he would have kept quiet about it until today. Now, how many times do I need to tell you? Do not worry! Gibbs will never find out about it, we are home and dry with this one. Now, be a good little Elf Lord and find out if Abby has arrived yet."

Tim smiled and phoned down to the lab and after a few moments Abby bounded into the bullpen with a wide beaming smile,

"Tony, you rock!" she said punching him playfully on the arm.

"I know Abbs, but even though I wasn't good enough for Hollywood, I am grateful to count you as one of my biggest fans!"

Abby's face fell slightly and Tony raised an eyebrow, "What's up?" he asked sweetly.

"Uh…nothing, I'm just a little worried about…you know who."

Tony stood tall and raised his eyes to the ceiling, "As I have explained to McGeek, there is no way, if Gibbs had seen us on TV, that he would have waited until today to haul us in."

"Yeah, you're right Tony...or should I say Julio!"

Tony grinned and Abby turned and skipped towards the elevator back to the lab.

Half an hour later Jethro Gibbs stood at the top of the stairs and took a moment to eye his team working away quietly. He took in a deep breath and steeled himself for the events the morning would bring. A flash of the beaming faces of his team on his TV screen came to his mind and he felt his gut start to writhe with anger.

"HEY!" he yelled sharply,

"DiNozzo! David! McGee! Get Abby and get your butts up here!"

Three faces staring upwards paled and froze wide-eyed.

"MOVE IT!"

_to be continued..._


	3. Hauled on the carpet

_A/N I'd like to thank Sasha1600 for her patience in sorting my head out with this one. It was frying big style till she helped me out. Cheers!_

* * *

Director Shepherd scowled hard at the four members of the team who had lined up in front of her desk. She deliberately let the silence continue until it had grown seriously uncomfortable and she began to see them visibly squirm and shift from one foot to another under her steely gaze.

Gibbs had stood to the side and was leaning on the cabinet with his arms folded. Finally the silence was broken and Jen looked each of them in turn.

"I assume you all know why you are here."

"Bonus time again?" Tony quipped nervously with a smile.

Gibbs stood up tall and a sideways glance from Tony instantly caused his face to fall and he muttered an apology.

Jen picked up the TV remote and ordered the team to turn around and face the plasma screen. She pressed the button and the initial clip came up immediately.

Gibbs inhaled deeply as he saw the repeat performance right to the part just before he had trashed his TV set. Jen pressed the pause button before the show resumed after the break and she set the remote down on the table and stood scowling, with her arms folded.

"I have spent the entire weekend sorting out your little stunt and kissing SecNav's ass to attempt to keep this thing low key. Call it self preservation, but if you hadn't been so valuable to this Agency, I would have quite happily have busted your asses out of the door and all the way to Hollywood myself!"

Ziva rolled her eyes, "Jen, it was a foolish act I agree and one I certainly regret."

"It's Director Shepherd and, Officer David, I don't doubt that you regret your participation in this, but the fact of the matter is that all four of you went absent without authorized leave, you disobeyed a direct order to attend a training event, you lied to your Team Leader and on national television, you explained to an audience of God knows how many, that you pretty much were playing hooky!"

"I'm sensing that you are not entirely happy Director." Abby asked as she nervously wrung her hands.

"Gold star for observation Abby!" Jen snapped sarcastically.

Abby winced and held her head low.

"Let's just take a look at the evidence shall we and then perhaps we can both understand why I, as Director of this Agency, am just a little pissed off at the antics of the Agents under my command."

Jen pressed the button on the remote and the theme tune blasted out. Not wishing to view the auditions for the second time that morning Gibbs sneaked out of the room as the voice of Ryan Seacrest filled the room,

"Hi, welcome back to American Idol, we are in Washington and we've just met four team mates from the Naval Criminal Investigative Service. First in to face Simon, Randy and Paula is what the Senior Field Agent calls, the Probie, aka Tim McGee."

"Oh God," Tim whispered as he closed his eyes and paled.

Flashback – Tim's Audition

"Oh God!" Tim whined as he realized that he was going to be first in.

"Come on Probie, you'll be fine. Just do your best."

Abby swung her arms around his neck almost knocking him off balance,

"Good luck Timmy!"

Nervously Tim opened the door and entered the audition room and took his place on the American Idol logo. He gulped as he eyed the recording cameras and then smiled weakly at the panel of judges.

"Hi there, what's your name?" Paula asked sweetly,

"I'm…uh…McGee….Tim…McGee."

"It says here you work for NCIS what does that stand for?"

McGee coughed nervously, "It's the Naval Criminal Investigative Service….we…uh…investigate crimes involving the Navy and….the….uh…Marine Corps."

"Impressive Tim….ok and what song are you going to sing for us and why have you chosen it?"

"I'm going to sing Edelweiss, my…uh…favorite movie is the 'Sound of Music' and I'm a big Julie Andrew's fan."

Tim was sure he detected a smirk on Simon's face, but decided to ignore it and hoped that he could actually sing and get the whole thing over with. At that moment, he regretted giving into Tony's pleas to avoid the training course and come to the auditions.

Paula smiled widely, "Ok, when you are ready Tim"

As Tim's low voice began to resonate around the room, he instantly realized that his singing was awful.

_"...blossom of snow may you bloom and grow, bloom and grow forever...uh...Edelweiss...Edelweiss...bless..."_

Randy Jackson hid his face behind a sheet of paper and Simon struggled to prevent himself from sniggering. He eventually put his hand up to call the audition to a close and Tim breathed a sigh of relief.

"That was awful!" Simon groaned, "It was like a cross between a fog-horn and a brick. Totally lifeless and out of tune!"

Randy chuckled, "Dude, I think you should stick to investigating. I don't think your voice is in any way shape ready for this competition. It's going to be a 'no' from me I'm afraid."

Paula pouted in sympathy, "Oh I'm sorry Tim, I don't think it was good enough sweetie, but you are kinda cute."

"That's three 'nos'. Thank you!" Simon snapped.

As Tim left the audition room with relief he opened the door and faced the excited and wide eyed faces of his co-workers.

"No," he said with a smile

"Aww!" Ziva pouted as she stroked her hand up his arm.

Jen paused the tape and McGee flushed with embarrassment.

"Agent McGee, I can assure you that 'cute' was not a word to describe what SecNav thought of your audition!"

There was a ripple of sniggers from Abby and Ziva, which only served to increase Jen's anger,

"It's not as if you two did any better, clearly you have nothing to laugh about!"

Abby and Ziva pouted as Jen pressed the remote once more.

_To be continued..._


	4. Rock Chicks

"Director I really do not think that it is necessary to continue showing this!" Ziva snapped indignantly.

Jen inhaled and narrowed her eyes, "Oh I do think it's necessary Ziva, if only to point out why I had to convince SecNav that your continued association to this Agency was in its best interests!"

Jen pressed the remote and the show continued. Ziva closed her eyes as she witnessed her walk into the audition room to face the judges.

**Flashback – Ziva's audition**

"Hello, how are you?" Simon asked with a wide smile.

"I am fine." Ziva blushed as she dipped her head slightly.

"Do you think you are a better singer than your colleague Tim?"

Ziva nodded confidently, "I think I can outperform McGee in a lot of ways…yes."

Paula sighed and pointed her pencil at Ziva, "Ok Ziva let's hear your song!"

Ziva coughed nervously and then took in a deep breath,

"_When you are nearly…..feeling small….when tears are in your eyes. I will drive them all. I am on your side, when times get tough…_.."

Simon Cowell winced at the nasally version of the Simon and Garfunkel classic and with silent contempt decided to let the horror continue sensing that Ziva was clearly having a difficult and uncomfortable time.

Paula sat wide-eyed as Ziva continued her nasally drawl.

"…._like a bridge over troubled waters, I will nail me down_…"

Randy couldn't take any more and he chuckled loudly at Ziva's continued outburst of wrong lyrics,

"Woah, Ziva, let me stop you there sweetheart. I think you've huh…got a little mixed up with some of the lyrics there!"

Ziva folded her arms in defiance and rolled her eyes, "I do not understand, I listened to the track only this morning, I was sure I had all of the language."

Simon shifted in his seat, "the problem is that even taking the issue of the lyrics aside, you simply cannot sing, you're voice is coming out through your nose, to be honest sweetheart, you are the worst we have heard today. There is no way we can put you through."

Ziva narrowed her eyes, "First of all, you arrogant man, I am not your sweet heart and secondly, the last person who spoke to me in that tone of voice quite literally spoke through his nose, after I broke it!"

Simon frowned, "Well I can't help it if your singing is absolutely dire, I have to be honest and basically you sound like an elephant with a cold being electrocuted!"

Ziva snapped and rushed at Simon and was quickly pulled back by two burly bodyguards,

"I can arrange for electrocution in one simple phone call!" she shrieked as she was led out of the door.

Ziva was pushed from the audition room into the arms of her co-workers. She stood up straight and smoothed down her clothes, "It's a no…I think."

--ooo--

Again Jen paused the show.

"Ok, can we all identify what the problem was with that?" she asked sarcastically.

"Uh…she didn't get the words correct in the song?" Tony smirked.

Abby raised her hand and jumped up and down. Jen raised her eyebrow giving her permission to speak.

"She should have chosen another song that didn't make her sound so…nasally?"

Ziva rolled her eyes and muttered Hebrew curses under her breath.

Jen slammed her hand on the table and began to yell,

"Do you people not see how 'I can arrange for electrocution in one simple phone call' might be sending out the wrong message and image of this Agency!"

Putting her hand to her brow, Jen took in yet another deep breath in an attempt to calm down,

"However, that alone was bad enough, but Abby's revelation was really the icing on the cake."

The TV sprung back into life again and Abby groaned as her face appeared on screen.

**Flashback – Abby's audition.**

"Wow dude, I dig the thread's girl!" Randy beamed as Abby skipped into the audition room.

Abby smiled and put her hands behind her back ready to sing,

"It's Abby isn't it, and you are a forensic scientist. What's the coolest thing about that job huh?"

"Actually, I could kill Simon and not leave any evidence behind!"

Simon raised his eyebrows in horror, "I don't know what to say"

Randy chuckled loudly, "that's impressive girl, let's see if your singing is just as impressive! When you are ready."

Abby took a deep breath and then began to screech at the top of her voice, her eyes shut tight and an air microphone in hand,

"_Buddy you're a boy make a big noise, playin in the street gonna be a big man some day. You got mud on yo face, you big disgrace. Kickin your can….."_

Randy Jackson hung his head in his hand and Paula covered her ears as Abby continued,

_"….we will we will rock you!….we will we will rock you!"_

"STOP RIGHT NOW!" Simon yelled with his hand raised.

Abby stopped immediately and gave her best innocent look,

"Well? Am I going to Hollywood?" she asked quietly.

"The only place that you should go at this stage is perhaps the emergency room to have your voice looked at!"

Abby pouted, tears forming in her eyes, "Was I really that bad?"

Randy got up from his seat and hugged Abby hard, "I'm sorry honey, that was not good."

After three resounding 'no's' Abby sniffled and made her way outside and as she saw Tony she dropped her head on his shoulder and cried softly.

Ryan Seacrest put a comforting hand on her shoulder, "You ok Abby?" and she turned, her mascara stained face filling the screen.

She signed furiously and then dug her face deep into Tony's shoulder and continued to sob.

--ooo--

Jen paused the tape and Abby felt all eyes on her.

"Would you like to share with your co-workers what you signed?"

At that moment, the team glanced around as the door to the office opened and Agent Gibbs silently returned to his position near the cabinet.

"Uh…no," Abby faltered as she caught a stare from Gibbs.

"It wasn't a question Abby!" Jen snapped.

Abby gulped, "I can….hack into any computer and find out where you stay Cowell and then uhm…..you'll be the one going to the….uh…Emergency Room."

Tony couldn't help but let out a snigger but immediately regretted it when Gibbs whacked him upside the head causing him to yelp out loud.

"So, let me refresh your memory, we had Ziva threaten Simon with electrocution and then we had NCIS finest forensic scientist tell the audience how easily it would be for her to hack personal computers. Once again the reputation of NCIS shot entirely in flames!"

Abby grimaced and began to chew her bottom lip, "I'm really sorry Director, I was just upset…he was being really mean and I just…."

Jen stopped her short, "Trust me Abby, that wasn't being mean. You'll learn the true definition of that word later today. Trust me!"

Gibbs smirked as he glanced in Jen's direction leaving Abby transfixed with fear of the impending doom.

_To be continued..._


	5. Feeling the heat

_A/N Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and stuck through this long haul and thanks to my big sister who chose Tony's song. I can't stop humming it now!_

* * *

Tony shuffled from one foot to another in anticipation of the Directors response to his audition. He had pretty much realised as Tim, Ziva and Abby had all been yelled at in turn that he wasn't going to escape having to endure the mother of all dressing downs.

His eyes grew wide as Jen turned her attention to him and stared hard. He suddenly found the need to grit his teeth hard to prevent a smile coming to his face when it hit him that although Jen's stare was pretty scary, it was in no where in hell as intimidating or as effective as Gibbs.

"And finally, we have our Senior Team Leader, who rounds off the public humiliation of NCIS with an impressive performance"

**Flashback – Tony's audition**

The voice over of Ryan Seacrest filled the room,

"Well, not having put any of the NCIS team through, it's up to Senior Field Agent Anthony DiNozzo to save their Hollywood dream."

The camera cut to Tony strolling into the audition room confidently, his hands in his pockets and a wide beaming smile on his face. Immediately the camera panned to Paula who had visibly perked up as she came face to face with the handsome NCIS agent.

"Hi! What's your name?" she asked coyly.

"It's Anthony, but my friends call me Tony, so call me Tony…..Paula"

Paula giggled and flushed, "Ok…Tony, why do you think we should send you to Hollywood?"

Tony grinned, "Well apart from the fact that I am your American Idol, it would mean that you and I could spend a little more time together, you know working on our lyrics and exercising our vocal chords….together"

Paula shrieked a giggle and Simon rolled his eyes.

"Ok, enough of the flirting, what are you going to sing Tony?"

Tony narrowed his eyes, supremely riled that Simon had cruelly cut the eye flirting that he and Paula had going on.

"It's Anthony, and I'm gonna sing a classic song...and it's especially for Paula"

Simon huffed and once again cast his eyes to the ceiling in desperation.

Tony winked at Paula took a deep breath and began,

"_To all the girls I've loved before. Who travelled in and out my door. I'm glad they came along, I dedicate this song, to all the girls I've loved before..._"

Tony got down on one knee and put his arms out wide and continued, "_To all the girls I once caressed. And may I say I've held the best. For helping me to grow…._"

Paula held her head to the side as Tony serenaded her. When he was finally finished he gave her a sheepish grin and stood awaiting the verdict.

"It's definitely a yes from me, you are hot and I think all the girls will love you, and you sing so nicely" Paula whispered seductively.

Randy sighed, "I don't know dude, it was kinda cheesy, I don't know if you'd be able to handle some of the bigger numbers further down in the competition, I'm going to say no"

Tony folded his arms defiantly and did his best Gibbs impression as he raised his eyebrow and stared hard at Simon.

"Although you may have a shred of personality that the audience may like, there is the slight problem that your voice just isn't up to scratch, I agree with Randy on this one, although you can slightly hold a tune, I think you will fall at the first hurdle"

With a heavy sigh, Tony slid his hand into inside jacket pocket and gave Paula his business card.

"If you ever wanna trade lyrics, just give me a call"

--ooo--

"I've been trading lyrics with SecNav all weekend trying to clear up your mess, Agent DiNozzo!"

Tony sniggered loudly, "Actually when I said trade lyrics I actually…OW!"

Gibbs scowled as Tony rubbed his head. He took up position standing next to Jen and eyed the four of them with silent anger.

"I think I've said all I had to say other than to express how deeply disappointed I am with all of you. Not only have you let yourselves down, you have also let down Gibbs and that , as you will soon find out, is not acceptable"

Jen turned to Gibbs, "Jethro, I'm sorry to hear about the demise of your TV set, I think you may have a few words of your own to say to your team. I'll leave them in your capable hands"

Gibbs smiled with a suspicious grin and, inhaling deeply, brought himself up to his full height and with a low voice growled at the team.

"You four get yourselves down to the garage….NOW!"

There was a look of shock on each of their faces, as their minds began to race about what Gibbs had planned for them. The Director's long rant had been bad enough, but they did not expect to get whatever they were expecting from Gibbs.

As the door closed behind them Jen grimaced, "You got everything sorted Jethro?"

"Uhu"

"Now you did promise me that they would be fit for duty when you had finished with them. We had a deal. Right?"

With a wide grin he nodded, "They will be fit for duty Director, you have my word."

Jen smiled coyly, "You really are a bastard, you know that don't you?"

"Well Jen, you should know. You never did lie to me again after the last time, so I guess if something works, don't change it"

A flicker of a memory flashed into Jen's mind and she swallowed hard and whispered quietly,

"I was sore for days Jethro"

Gibbs chuckled lightly as he headed smartly out of the door deliberately leaving the memory lingering in the air.

_To be continued..._

* * *

_A/N For those desperate to find out what Gibbs does to them, hang on in there, it's in the next chapter promise._


	6. The Color of Punishment is Green

_A/N Gibbs eventually gets to deliver his punishment. Hope you like!_

* * *

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Tony spat as he banged his head against the elevator wall.

"Tony, why do you think he wants us in the garage?" Tim asked croakily, his throat already dry with nerves.

"Why do you think Probie, he's probably going to beat the crap out of us."

Abby's eyes widened, "Even me?"

The three of them nodded in agreement and Abby slumped against the wall.

"So, what do you think?" Ziva snapped as she folded her arms defensively, "Electric shock, water-boarding, several slaps to the head?"

Tony placed his hands on his head and winced, "Put it this way, whatever the big guy has planned…it aint gonna be pretty."

As they entered the garage, Tim huffed loudly, "You know Tony, this is all your fault, we should never have listened to you!"

Tony gasped, "What? I didn't exactly twist your arm Probie!"

"Actually you did everything apart from twist his arm Tony," Ziva growled, "Anyway, he is right, if we had not listened to you we would not have found ourselves in such a prediction."

"Predicament Ziva," Abby corrected her quietly as she stood sulking.

Tony narrowed his eyes at Tim and scowled, "Well if Elf-Lord had a problem with it all he had to do was open his whiney little mouth."

"I am not whiney!" Tim snapped

"You were the one caught on camera whining like a girl."

"Hey!" Ziva barked, "Girls don't whine!"

As the arguments and recriminations escalated they had not noticed the elevator doors swishing open and Gibbs entering. With one sharp whistle, there was silence.

"Don't you think you are in enough trouble as it is without adding fighting to your list of crimes too?"

Eyes suddenly found the floor and nervous coughs escaped from very dry mouths.

"All of you in the truck," he snapped as he headed for the drivers seat.

Tony automatically made for the other passenger seat and Gibbs smacked him upside the head,

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You don't deserve a seat, in the back…..all of you."

Slowly they crammed themselves into the back of the truck and Gibbs drove out of the garage.

Abby pouted as she tried to maintain her balance, "Where are we going?" she voiced with concern.

"You are in the bus headed for hell."

Even the journey was hell. The speed of Gibb's driving and his obvious swerving to make swift progress, made the ability to keep their footing in the back of the truck at times an impossibility. Despite the jolts and falls, the team were silent as their minds raced, thinking about where they were heading, or more worryingly, what they were heading for.

Eventually the truck came to an abrupt halt and the engine was turned off. It was a few unsettling moments before the door swung open and the team came face to face with two burly and very vocal Marines.

"GET OUT OF THE TRUCK!"

"MOVE YOUR ASSES AND GET OUT NOW!"

The team scrabbled out of the truck the adrenalin rushing fast and making them bump and scramble to retain their balance and composure.

"Oh God!" Tim mumbled as he instantly recognized the OCS training area

"Where are we?" Abby frowned as she placed her hands on her hips.

"DID I ASK YOU TO OPEN YOUR GOD-DAMNED MOUTHS I THINK NOT NOW GET ON THE GROUND AND GIVE ME TWENTY PUSH UPS AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT OPENING YOUR CHOW HOLES AGAIN UNTIL I TELL YOU THAT YOU CAN! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"

"Yes Sir!" they all instinctively replied before hitting the ground and rapidly counting out their allotted push-ups.

Gibbs shook hands with the mean Staff Sargent and smiled,

"Staff Sargent Anderson, good to see you again."

"No problem Gunny. These the sniveling, idle, lying good for nothings you spoke about this morning?"

Gibbs nodded as the other Marine made his way over, "Gunnery Sargent Carter, you must be Agent Gibbs, Anderson told me all about your little predicament Gunny. Which course do you want them to do 'The Stamina' or 'The Confidence'?"

Gibbs smiled, "Both."

"Jeez Gunny, the stories I heard about you were right, you are a..."

"Bastard...yeah I know," he interrupted as he strode towards the team, "On your feet" he barked.

The team formed a line and stood shell shocked. Gibbs began to pace up and down the line.

"Our Director may have chewed you out this morning, but as far as I am concerned you have still to be suitably punished. You four are going to learn the consequences of lying to me. By the time we are finished here today, you will never, ever play hooky again. I guarantee you, that when you are lying in your racks tonight you will shudder at the very thought of placing the Agency in such an embarrassing situation ever again. But over the next few hours I want to make sure that you do not let me down again. You will follow every order these Marines give you. Quitting will not be an option."

Gibbs dropped his voice a tone and narrowed his eyes, "You...Will...Learn!"

He stopped and turned, facing the two Marines.

"Staff Sargent Anderson and Gunnery Sargent Carter here will be working with you on the lesson for today."

The team glanced at what they were sure were the two meanest Marines on the base. Gunnery Sargent Carter opened his mouth and began to yell,

"YOU HAVE TEN MINUTES TO GET YOURSELVES INTO THE HUT BEHIND YOU, GET CHANGED INTO YOUR GEAR AND REPORT BACK HERE IN FORMATION. AND WHEN I SAY TEN MINUTES YOU IDLE MAGGOTS I MEAN TEN GOD-DAMNED MINUTES EXACTLY……MOVE!"

In nine minutes they had gotten changed into Marine Corps issue PT kits and were standing in formation.

"Ok, warm up first, how about a little log run!"

The team's first task was to run a two kilometer circuit carrying a heavy log. As they grappled to place it on their shoulders, they immediately began to argue,

"Probie, will you lift your side up!"

"I am lifting it Tony, it's just really heavy!"

"Oh for goodness sake McGee, it's a log not an iron bar," Ziva moaned

"Ziva don't shout at Timmy he can't help it if he's weak!"

"Abby! I'm not weak!" Tim snapped

Gunnery Sargent Carter bellowed loudly into Ziva's face, "THAT AINT WORKING TOGETHER, NOW LIFT THAT LOG AND RUN!"

Gibbs jogged alongside them and sidled up next to McGee, "Come on Tim, you're the one I rely on to dig deep, are you going to let Tony lead the way again?"

Tim gasped and could only manage a scowl as he pounded his feet to the ground trying to maintain the pace.

After they had completed their log run, Gunnery Sargent Carter briefed them on 'The Stamina Course' and explained how they should tackle each obstacle. Gibbs sniggered discretely as the groans rippled through the assembled team and as well as mutterings of "No way in hell!" and "Is he crazy?"

Before they headed off to the 'Uphill Sprint', Abby stood in front of Gibbs with the best innocent and helpless look she could muster.

"Gibbs, I can't do this, I'll take whatever other punishment you have but please don't make me do this. It will give me nightmares! You realize that this whole experience could traumatize me for weeks to come, causing irreparable physiological damage manifesting itself….."

Gibbs wasn't budging and he simply took her by the shoulders and turned her round to face the rest of the team and whispered in her ear,

"Oh I want you to remember this for a long time Abby. You pay the price for lying just like the rest of the team!"

Abby whipped her head round and threw him a scowl. Gibbs simply pointed his finger in the direction of the team,

"Go!"

Abby's eyes pooled instantly and she pouted her bottom lip, "Gibbs."

"Do you want to earn yourself no Caff-Pow's for a week as well as this?" Gibbs asked sternly as he pushed her shoulders around again and even more firmly pushed her back towards the team causing her to shriek and run on quickly.

As they struggled through the obstacles, each one growing more difficult, they were soon exhausted and growing tired of the two marines constantly yelling at them. It was on the 'Cliff Climb' when tempers began to fray,

"McGee, if you do not get out of my way, I will remove you from this planet entirely!" Ziva snapped as McGee trudged and pulled and hauled at the rope barely making progress.

"Ha…ha…I'm going as f..fast as I can Ziva," McGee gasped.

"I have seen a porpoise move faster than you!"

"I think you mean tortoise Ziva a porpoise is a dolphin," Tony panted as he tugged and pulled his way up the hill.

McGee lay on his back exhausted, "I can't do this, I can't take this anymore. I'm going to pass out!" he whined.

Tony crawled over to him and winked surreptitiously and whispered, "Play along McGee, I've got an idea, howl"

"What?"

"Howl. Make like you are in pain!"

"I am in pain!"

"Well howl like you are in excruciating pain, like you're….singing…trust me."

McGee scowled and then started to howl in pain as Tony started to rub his hand up and down Tim's shin.

"Boss! We've gotta problem here, GIBBS!"

Gibbs straddled down the steep hill with a hint of concern on his face.

"What's the problem?"

"I think Probie's pulled a hamstring or something, he's in agony boss," Tony winced with fake sympathy.

A slight touch from Tony's boot to McGee's side made his animated howling all the louder and as Gibbs felt around the 'damaged' leg, he smiled.

"Yeah, DiNozzo, I think McGee's pulled something here."

Tony looked innocently as he stood, nodding in agreement.

"He's pulled a fast one!" Gibbs growled as he lifted his boot and kicked McGee square in the butt before growling,

"You get up and move your ass up that hill and start listening to your gut when DiNozzo starts leading you into trouble!"

Tim complied quickly and began scrabbling and pulling himself up the hill. Gibbs turned his attention to Tony and took him by the scruff of the neck and ran him down to the bottom of the hill to start the steep climb again.

"Another lie DiNozzo and it's back to square one….literally."

"Argh, boss, please, come on, this is killing me man!"

Gibbs whacked him upside the head, "stop exercising your vocal chords DiNozzo and get your ass up that hill or else I'll help you with every step with my boot!"

Tony gulped and immediately began to climb.

Further along the course Ziva struggled on, despite the pain in her legs and arms, and as she neared the Cargo Net she was confident that Gibbs would not get the better of her. She stood breathing deeply before tackling the last obstacle and felt the presence of her Team Leader behind her,

"You finding this a challenge Officer David?" Gibbs growled in her ear.

"This is nothing...compared to Mossad training, I...am fine" she said firmly, keeping her eyes ahead, her breathing still unmeasured.

"Yeah, I thought as much," Gibbs chuckled quietly, "that's why you are going to fall back with the others and repeat the obstacles you've done ahead of them."

Ziva snapped her head round and gasped with an open mouth, "That….that is not fair, I should not be treated differently from the others just because I am more able!"

"You may be able Ziva, but you are part of the team, and you will learn that as part of the team you do things together."

As she pouted and folded her arms defiantly, Gibbs tipped her chin, making sure that she made eye contact with him,

"You will learn Officer David, that when a team member makes a wrong decision, that you have a duty and responsibility to point that out to them and make sure that, as a team, you make the right choices. You damned well knew that DiNozzo was a jerk convincing you to play hooky, but you let Tim and Abby and yourself go along with it. That is why you are out here, that is why you are being punished. Now get your butt back to your team and start helping them."

Ziva scowled and stared for a few seconds before she threw up her hands in acceptance and headed back towards the earlier obstacles.

By the end of 'The Stamina Course' the team, with the help of Sargents Carter and Anderson had been transformed into physical wrecks and as they reached formation point were whimpering and groaning, bent over, gasping for breath, all of them sore and sweaty and caked in mud.

"Confidence Course next Gunny?" Sargent Anderson asked with a wicked grin,

Gibbs shook his head slightly and then barked loudly,

"Fall in!"

Slowly the team formed a line and as their breathing returned to normal, Gibbs eyed the sheepish, cold, tired and exhausted crew who were almost in tears.

"Okay, will we have a repeat performance of your behavior or, do we need to continue this lesson with 'The Confidence Course?" he asked in a low, stern voice as he looked at each of them in turn.

Four resounding 'no's' were accompanied with croaky responses that "they would never do it again" and "please boss, sorry boss" and "we'll never do it again Gibbs" and Jethro Gibbs was content that his particular lesson had been well and truly learned.

He narrowed his eyes, "If you give me reason to punish you for lying or letting the Agency down again, trust me, I'll take it out on your ass. Do I make myself clear?"

Nods of agreement were acknowledged and permission given to head for a hot shower and a change of clothes. Within the half hour the team were silently piling into the back of the truck and Gibbs was thanking the two marines for their help.

"I think I'm going to throw up," Abby wailed as she leaned on Tim's shoulder.

"I'd help you Abbs, but I'm kinda immobile right now," Tim grimaced as he massaged the muscles in his shoulder.

"I can't feel my legs. I can see 'em, but I can't feel 'em!" Tony whispered to himself.

Ziva narrowed her eyes as she reached around stiffly attempting to rub the pain from her back, "He really has a problem with people lying to him doesn't he"

Gibbs smiled at the sound of three loud groans that came from the back of the truck and recalled, a distant past when a certain Probie Shepherd had made the exact same noises after her lesson.

* * *

_Next and final chapter coming soon..._


	7. Pain and Presents

_A/N Gosh, I am so relieved that you guys were pleased with the previous chapter. I am paranoid, I know. __I'd like to give a big thanks to everyone who has reviewed and kept me going with this one, but an extra special thanks to Sasha1600, who has listened to my moans and groans when I just didn't know how to proceed. Also to ME Wofford who has been a great support._

_I thought it wasn't fair to finish this without exploring Jen's little lie. So, all is revealed. I hope that you like it. As for a sequel, I will be taking some time off work next week and may be without net access (eek!) but I have a Ducky PDA (see season 2 episode SWAK) so hopefully will have the start of another story when I get back home._

_PaperHat_

* * *

On Tuesday morning, Gibbs bounded up the stairs heading towards the Directors Office, feeling decidedly in a good mood. He even managed a smile for Cynthia as he headed straight for the door, snapped the handle, and barged into the office unannounced.

"Good morning Jethro, you are looking pleased with yourself, so I take it your little trip to OCS went well?"

"Oh yeah," he grinned widely.

Jen removed her glasses as she leaned forward on her desk.

"And do I have a team who are fit for work?"

Gibbs rolled his eyes, "Well, the aroma of muscle rub in the office is a little overpowering and yes, they are a little sore and stiff, but they are in good enough shape for duty."

Jen eyed him cautiously for a moment and then her desire for more information overtook her, "which one did they do, tell me you didn't have them do both!"

"Just 'The Stamina' Jen, I'm not that cruel!"

Jen sighed with relief and then snapped her head up, "Hey! You had me doing both!"

Gibbs raised his eyebrow, "If I recall Director, you didn't finish 'The Confidence' course."

Jen winced at the memory, "Jethro, I fell from the 'Horizontal Ladders' and severely damaged my tail bone. I couldn't sit comfortably for days, that's the only reason why you let me stop, else you would have hauled me around the rest of it!"

"Ah Jen, come on, you didn't damage your tail bone, all you did was fall on your ass, it was more your pride and your stubbornness that took a knock than your butt. I let you stop because by that time you had learned your lesson."

Gibbs tried hard to suppress a chuckle as his memory jogged and he instantly recalled the scene.

**Flashback**

"Use those damn hips of yours to swing yourself forward and grab hold of the other bar….DO IT!" Gibbs barked at his Probie.

"I c..c…can't…my…arms are too sore!" Jen whimpered as she hung limply from the second rung on the Horizontal Ladder obstacle.

"Your arms weren't sore when you were pulling slot machines were they?" Gibbs growled sarcastically.

"Next time I send you to visit the Marine Corps base in Las Vegas, you will NOT knock off four hours early and go gambling on my time, and then, tell me that you were interviewing all afternoon will you?"

"No! I won't do it again boss, I pro….aaarggghhh!!"

Jen had lost her grip and she fell hard to the ground. She immediately rolled on her side and began rubbing her butt.

"Ooowww! I think I've broken something," Jen howled as she lay on the ground exhausted.

Gibbs lifted her gently from the ground and carefully removed the several leafs and pieces of bark from her hair,

"Okay, I think we are done here, you going to lie to me again Shepherd?"

"No Agent Gibbs, I can assure you….there will be no more lies," she said remorsefully, still struggling for breath, but grateful that the ordeal was eventually over.

Gibbs moved close to her ear, "I'm going to hold you to that Probie, because if you do, the pain in your ass won't be the result of some damned Horizontal Ladders, you got me?"

Jen nodded quickly and, walking stiffly, accompanied her mentor back to the base.

--oooo--

"Stop it Jethro!"

Jen's voice brought him back to the present and his eyes went wide,

"What?" he asked innocently.

"You were thinking about the Las Vegas incident in too great a detail for my liking."

Gibbs grinned softly and then sighed as he opened the door, "So does mommy want to go check on the kids for herself?" he asked sarcastically.

Jen scowled and rose from her seat, and slapped him playfully on the arm, as they both headed out of the door.

In the bullpen, it had been quieter than usual. Tim, Tony, Abby and Ziva had all started work earlier than normal and had begun to work away diligently. No-one had had the nerve to speak of the previous day's events until Tony dropped his pencil on the floor and instinctively bent over to pick it up,

"Haaaooow!" he yelped as the muscles in his back spasmed.

Tim groaned, "Thank God, I thought I was the only one who was sore."

Tony grimaced as he straightened up, "You should have seen me in the shower this morning McGeek I could hardly lift…."

"Stop putting that vision in my mind DiNozzo! I feel bad enough today!" Ziva snapped as she covered her ears.

Tony turned and frowned at her till she dropped her hands from her ears,

"….my arms to wash my hair!" he said slowly.

Abby walked gingerly into the bullpen accompanied by Jimmy holding a large brown box, which she instructed him to place on Gibbs desk. He then headed back to autopsy without speaking a word, having been told by Abby, all about the previous day.

"I have definitely pulled muscles where I didn't even know that I had muscles, in fact, I think even my DNA has been pulled," she groaned.

Tony smiled softly, as he used one arm to lift his other onto Abby's shoulder, "welcome to our world Abbs."

Director Shepherd and Agent Gibbs entered the bullpen and Jen stood in the centre with her arms folded,

"I am fully aware of what happened yesterday, and, I know that each of you has learned a very valuable lesson. I am also happy to see, that despite the hardship you endured, you are all fit and able to be in here today."

Four sets of humble eyes suddenly found the floor and Jen headed towards the stairs to return to her office. She whispered to Gibbs before she left,

"I see what you mean about the muscle rub Jethro!" she added as she scrunched her nose in displeasure.

Gibbs stifled a laugh as he made for his own desk and frowned as he noticed the large brown box invading his desk.

Abby, Tim and Ziva gathered around Tony who stood beside his boss and coughed nervously as he was met with his trademark stare,

"We uh, know that you don't…do apologies…but we…uh…thought we should do this….because it was our fault…that…uh…you know."

Gibbs took out his knife and with a flick of his wrist he revealed the blade and slit the top of the box. He peered inside and smiled and then closed it over. He looked at each of the contrite faces of his team and then nodded his head in silent acknowledgement, before lifting the box and placing it on the floor

"I'm going for coffee," he said smartly as he headed for the elevator.

Tony breathed a sigh of relief and beamed with a wide smile,

"Okay, who's going to explain to him what an integral DVD player is?"

* * *

THE END...UNTIL TONY OPENS HIS BIG MOUTH AGAIN WITH ANOTHER BRIGHT IDEA...


End file.
